You should definitely discuss your (and their) WEAKNESSES
I once heard an interview where someone said, “If you can handle me at my worst, you can have me at my best.” Mic drop!!!
Which got me thinking. Perhaps employment (and personal) relationships would be more successful (healthier, longer-lasting etc.) if everyone was up front about not only their strengths, but also their weaknesses, otherwise known as lesser strengths.
We’re conditioned to focus on our own strengths and look for the strengths in others. Which we should! It’s a very positive and optimistic frame of mind to be in.
But that doesn’t mean we should avoid discussing our own weaknesses and asking about the weaknesses of others. In fact, we should. When each party discusses their weaknesses, they:
1.) Paint a completer and more accurate picture of who they are (which helps the other party determine if they want to be in a relationship)
2.) Show up as their full, authentic selves
3.) Are more ethical, truthful, and transparent
4.) Begin to establish trust
What typically happens during job interviews (and on dates) is that both parties present the extremely filtered LinkedIn (or Instagram) versions of themselves and exaggerate how awesome they are. They tiptoe around (or hide/lie about) their weaknesses for fear of rejection, only to learn a few months later that the person who was sitting across the table from them was suppressing some major traits or characteristics that aren’t acceptable. Weaknesses that have now surfaced and which threaten the relationship.
Few relationships end because of strengths. They often end because of weaknesses. So, why wait to discuss weaknesses? Get it all out on the table at the beginning. When everyone discloses their weaknesses, it allows each party (candidate, employer, partner etc.) to determine if those traits or characteristics are something they can “manage around” and/or accept. If they can, great, continue moving forward together. But if they can’t, isn’t it better to know that from day 1, rather than discover it 6 months into a relationship when people may feel trapped?
Discussing our weaknesses is tough. It takes openness, honesty, accuracy, self-awareness, and vulnerability. But isn’t it worth it to be a little uncomfortable discussing weaknesses if it leads to a completer and more accurate picture of everyone? So that both parties know who they are getting into a relationship with?
🗝 When it comes to employment (and personal) relationships, think this: “If they can handle my weaknesses, they can have my strengths!”
[This article was originally published on LinkedIn on 4/24/23: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/you-should-definitely-discuss-your-weaknesses-bill-leonard-mhrm%3FtrackingId=e5s4%252BVrETaCfLLXI%252FuWtQQ%253D%253D/?trackingId=e5s4%2BVrETaCfLLXI%2FuWtQQ%3D%3D]